Monday, March 28, 2011

I Surrender

Yesterday J and I attended church like we regularly do on Sunday mornings, but something special happened in my heart. Something out of the ordinary.

During the opening prayer -take note, NOT after the message and just after two worship songs- God ripped my attention from myself and quickly placed my focus on Him. As the prayer began, the pastor encouraged us to surrender, to pause and to take a moment to admit our greatest barriers in order to better surrender to God. He then encouraged us to think about that which we need to surrender, to put it into a sentence "God I surrender..."

Wow, I had a lot on my mind that was weighing really heavy on my heart.

God, I surrender body consciousness. I surrender the way I question how you made me.
God, I surrender my doubtful heart, always second guessing your perfect ways.
God, I surrender all the fears and anxieties that wreak havoc in my heart.
God, I surrender my "perfect" plan that is full of many more holes than I can ever imagine.
God, I surrender the bitterness I bottle inside.
God, I surrender the pain I refuse to heal, I let keep emptying me of my joy.
God, I surrender my frustrations with my circumstances, it's about attitude not aptitude.
God, I surrender my timeline, my goals, my incessant mission.
God, I surrender my unwilling soul, my fighting spirit.
God, I surrender my excuses about why later, why not, why me.
God, I surrender my imperfections, and my obsession with them.
God, I surrender me. 

And with that surrender I take on a whole new perspective, a whole new life's mission, a whole new purpose... One that focuses on Him instead of me, on helping instead of receiving, on hope instead of darkness.

6 comments:

Alysa said... Best Blogger Tips

My eyes filled with tears reading this. I felt the same way yesterday as the entire message and songs were about repentance. I need to sit down and write a surrender list too. Thanks for inspiring :)

Terri said... Best Blogger Tips

That hit home ~ your words touched my heart. Thanks for putting into words what some of us feel at one time or another.

Mrs.G said... Best Blogger Tips

Very inspiring post!Thank you for sharing!

Jennifer said... Best Blogger Tips

Wow. Don't you love it when God does things like that! Surrender is so important in the Christian life! A lot of times I don't realize how much I don't surrender to Him! Thanks for this!

leigh said... Best Blogger Tips

Amen! I was just thinking of that song, "IIIII surrender, all to you, all to you . . ." I hope you actually know the one I'm talking about.
If not, this is awkward.
:) :)
<3 leigh

Tiffany said... Best Blogger Tips

Hard to do, thanks for reminding me that I too need to surrender!!