Thursday, July 28, 2011

What Do I Have to Offer You?

It's been such a stretch since the last time that I've written... Thank you for the sweet words throughout my silence. I am finally feeling better (who knew that a medicine I've been taking for a long time could make me so sick... Came off it and I'm all good!) and now I'm trying to get back into the routine of things.

My love for social media has sort of faded. I have been so busy with the people that are right here and so tangible that the online community began to fall to the wayside. I have definitely fallen off my blogging horse. Partly because I've moved home in preparation for the wedding (holy smokes only six more weeks!) and it's been busy, busy, busy, but mostly because I've been struggling with thoughts that I don't have anything to offer to you, my faithful readers.

I want to have something special, something sweet, something encouraging and enlightening to share... But I don't feel like it's within me. What's my deal? ...I would yell at myself to "GET OVER IT", but then I realize I'd look like a mad woman and I'm already running around like a hen missing her beloved rooster. (Not so much into the head cut off deal...)

Lately I've been working on being fulfilled by my God instead of by... well, everything else. It's not easy and I get so frustrated because I catch myself thinking "If I had (fill in totally materialistic object here) I would be better" and playing the "what if" game. Ugh, my God is giving me what I need, which is not always what I want, but hey, that's life.

What if I was as skinny as I wanted to be? Well, then I'd kiss goodbye to the occasional cupcake, budlight lime, popcorn, ice cream for dessert... I'd have to part with the little things that make each day special. (I don't eat all of that in a single day... Although now that you've put the idea in my head it sounds tasty...)

What if I had a bunch of close girl friends to be around for all the big memories coming up? Well, then my Mama Bird wouldn't be nearly as precious, as wonderful, as sweet to my soul... Why? Beacuse she wouldn't be the best friend I've ever had. She'd just be Mama Bird... and she's so much more than just a mom, I wouldn't give that up for the world.

So many "What if" questions... But so much more certainties that I know and love. Are you in the "what if" zone too? Give it up... We can do it together!

I'm coming back. I won't be posting as regularly as previously, but I'm going to do this! I'm going to be trying some new things... Cooking, sharing my life and thoughts and such, so please stick with me, I promise to make it worth your while. And please share what you love and what you could do without... I want this blog to be meaningful to you too.

P.S. I'm cooking again... And I have some BOMB recipes on deck to share with all of you!