Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Step One to Getting Married: Check Your Ego at the Door

For some reason I thought my lessons in being a wife were going to begin after Jason and I got married. Nope, maybe my blog was appropriately named, because I'm learning them now and the wedding is still seven months (and one day!) away! Well, I'm learning lots, fast, but not easily!

I have really struggled finding a job that keeps me close to Jason and doesn't overload me with ridiculous hours. Lately this has really weighed on me because I want to be an independent, self-sufficient woman. I didn't go to college just to learn and then do nothing so I must get a good paying job to make my degree worth it.

But today, while I was running of course, God enlightened me. I cannot do this alone. In fact, God has put Jason in my life for me to lean on. For me to learn to trust and depend on. Jason wants to help me stay close. He wants to be sure I'm here with him and not away working hard, but missing his sweet self. He wants us to enjoy our engagement together not apart. In order to make this happen, I must work on dependence. 

The world has taught me to be strong, to be independent, to be sufficient for myself without the help from anyone else -specifically a man; but that's not what God asked of me in becoming a wife. In fact, He asked of me just the opposite in Genesis 2:24:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." 
He didn't put a little footnote at the bottom of the scripture that says, "Oh except Amber, she can just keep her superego self intact and take care of herself when her sweet Jason wants to be the one for her." Nope, even I, the great Amber (ok, so I'm not so great, but I like to give myself more credit than I deserve quite often), must throw off the expectations and pressures of the world and step into the His presence in order to allow Him to grow me into a stronger wife.

God writes about two becoming one (sounds like a bad Spice Girls song!) again in Mark 10:8:
"And the two shall become one flesh: so that they are no more two, but one flesh." 
In being one flesh, Jason and I must work as a unified, solid unit. My big headedness is only going to make this working together so difficult. So, here is my admission: I'm not always right. I need Jason just as much, if not more, than he needs me. God is the only way that I'm going to be the wife that Jason deserves, and even then, I'm going to fall short.

Song of the Day: Humble Me
By: Norah Jones

"You humble me Lord. I am on my knees empty."

Just a prayer from a simple girl learning to be a sweet wife:

Oh, my dear Lord, please help me check my ego at the door so I can skip so freely down the aisle to the lovely altar where the man you have made for me stands waiting to promise you to love me for all time. 


chris said... Best Blogger Tips

oh my dearie! that is a preceless lesson to learn that no job could offer or is worth! love you!