Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's 3:37 am.

Being awake in the middle of the night all alone is a weird feeling. It's one of those times when I truly can't wait to be married and have someone else breathing steadily beside me to remind me of what it means to sleep soundly and restfully. However, I am wide awake for no good reason, especially considering the busy day I have ahead of me tomorrow. Oh my, hopefully I'll be able to sleep a little bit on the drive from here to the Welcome Home party we are going to about an hour away from my house...

And I'm thinking Starbucks is going to be an absolute necessity before church tomorrow. Ooooph.

But in this restlessness, I think of God. I think of his constant vigilance. Jesus spent time alone in turmoil like in the garden of Gethsemane before he spent his final moments on the cross. There is something about late night wakefullness that leads me to think of Him. In moments of little sleep, when I wish for someone to be friends with me in my midnight loneliness I think of what God says to us in Ephesians 6:14-16:
"Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." 
This late at night, in my wishing for companionship to end my loneliness I realize the devil can so easily be at work in my heart. With no one to take my mind off worries -about getting a job, being the best wife I can- with no one to chat with and say, "Gosh I'm really not sleeping because my mind won't yet shut off" (Boy, do I wish I had a switch that I could turn to sleep mode!), I seem to just sit and wonder. Question my heart, my intentions, my worries... And late at night, the devil does his best work. But He will endure. With the clothing on that holds me strong, with the tools that He has made for me I will make it to dawn, to church, to the party.

And on a lighter note, it should help me to sleep REALLY well tomorrow night!

Song of the day: I Want to Know You More
By: Sonicflood

"In a secret, in a quiet place"... Midnight, all alone qualifies. And here I am, getting to know Him more!