Tuesday, February 23, 2010

fortune cookies and my future... whoa.

wow, it has been much too long. i told myself that i would never let an entire week go by without posting... and here i am being the slacking blogger who let's things go for far too long. so, not again for a long time. (though we all know i am a human and will let a week pass without posting, good thing i'm not in charge of the world!)

it is term paper turn in season at school. i love the communications program at UC San Diego, but come the end of the quarter it is painful to think about how many hours i dedicate to working on the paper that often determines half of my grade. oh boy. and with the thought of graduating early tasting sooo very sweet on my lips i realize only three more quarters of this and i will have my bachelors degree and be pursuing my passion for inspiring young children to learn. yesss!

this is what i want my little class to look like one day... but with bigger smiles... and me in the picture with them of course!

i just can't believe that at 20 (almost 21, just a few weeks!) years old i am suddenly making my way out of schooling and into the real world. i pray daily (and would appreciate you to pray too!) for God to guide me and help me because it is so obvious to me that i have so much to learn in the next few quarters plus all that comes in the real world.

life is pulling together and He is showing me that i truly can do it. not on my own, but with Him. just like Paul says in Phillipians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." don't you just want to yell this when you are saying it? i just feel so much power well up inside of me when God whispers this into my heart. i can only imagine the power that would overcome me should he decide to speak or yell it. holy cow. maybe that's where heart attacks come from?

on sunday after a wonderful message at church, my boyfriend, jason, took a very emotional me (who knows why!?!) out to lunch at one of my favorite quick bites (but NOT fast food) restaurants, pick up stix. it was delicious as always and he is always amazing company. plus it gives us the chance to talk about the message. church was amazing, but my heart remained heavy, something very unlike me. as we finished up the meal i was dreading coming home to work on a paper.

as we began to leave the restaurant i realized i had left my fortune cookie sitting on the table. a fortune cookie usually doesn't matter much to me, but this day it was. i popped open my little morsel and inside was a wonderful little message from God remind me that despite my long week, i was doing His will. it said:
you take joy in having others acknowledge your presence and appreciate your efforts.
you would have though i won the lottery. oh boy, do i love to know that all of the effort i put into things in being noticed and appreciated! God reminded me that He knows where my heart is at every moment of every day. He reminded me that He appreciates my presence and efforts though they are not perfect (despite my frustration and struggling with this fact!)

david's writing in psalm 139 acknowledges the way that God acknowledges us, something we must do with our hearts. he writes:

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord." -Psalm 139:1-4

notice, david writes you know ALL MY WAYS. not some, not most, but all. God knows the number of hairs on your head... that is more than you know about yourself! i'm thankful for this. why? because i am still learning so much about myself these days and it's calming to know that He has me figured out and sitting in the palm of His righteous right hand.

in light of this fortune cookie blessing, God has been revealing to me that He is noticing my effort... not just in my faith, but in all of the busyness that is my life. i have always been good at family, work, and at friends, but lately i have grown so much in my faith, in my abilities as a student, in my leadership position in my sorority, and in my relationship with my boyfriend. needless to say, this is going to be a long one... or possibly broken up into a couple of chunks over the next four days. because i can't summarize months of learning in just a couple sentences... or i could, but then you would miss out on God's gloriousness (yes, i made that up!) in it.

more to come, i just don't need to be writing a novel. no one wants to read THAT much...

in closing, song of the day:
church music (dance!) by: David Crowder Band

it's funky and just makes you want to dance! what better thing to do than dance and sing to celebrate the awesomeness of Him!