the tide

there is this song that i have known since high school and probably have listened to it a thousand and one times, but today when i was listening to it something struck a chord in my head. i realized this song, although it’s not created by a religious band and is about a very sad life, it makes a point.

“the tide” by the spill canvas sings of three siblings whose mother is an alcoholic and neglects them to the point of their death; thus rendering her useless as a mother and advisor. However, something that the mother says throughout the song is, “heaven is not just a place you go when you die, it’s a moment in life when you actually feel alive.” although she is by no means a fit or wonderful mother, she has a point. heaven is not just a place you go when you die, God gives us an inkling of that wonderful place by blessing us with moments when we actually feel alive.

now, did i say that alive meant like you feel like you are on top of the world? nope. often i feel the most alive during times of pain, doubt, sadness. it seems like these things remind me that i am just a human, i’m some sort of special, and that i, too, bleed. just like Jesus, the son of God, was a human and he bled.

while Jesus kneeled in the garden of gethsemane, he prayed for God to remove the cup he was soon going to be asked to drink from, but only if by His almighty will.

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but Yours be done. … In his anguish he prayed even more earnestly, and his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood." –Luke 22:42, 44

the intensity of his prayer and emotional state led Jesus to sweat blood. Jesus was pleading with God, he was begging. he was so intense in his appeals he began to sweat not salty water, but blood. in other words, he was suffering from a very rare condition called hematidrosis, where a person is suffering from extreme levels of stress and the net of blood vessels near the sweat glands rupture. boy, did Jesus feel alive. think how aware of your body, your life, yourself you would be when blood began to trickle down your face unexpectedly?

now, i feel stressed and anxious, about school, about money, about making my parents’ proud, about decisions, about work, about life in general, but not once have the blood vessels in my forehead sprung a leak. so, i must feel alive in the terms God has granted to me. when i fall and scrape my knee, i am being reminded i am not invincible. when my feelings are hurt, i am reminded that i care what others think. when I question my ability to perform up to the level of others, i am reminded of my insecurities.

but through all of these minor reminders, God is ultimately showing me that i am still alive. and how wonderful it feels to be alive.

i pray today you feel alive in the place that you are in. i pray that you and i remember every morning when we wake that God gifted us with another day here to serve as reminders to others of the glory of Him the Almighty. i pray that you see the reminders God is leaving for you, be they positive, negative, or the in between.

song of the day:
“live like you were dying” – tim mcgraw.

it’s simply: why not?