the sacredness of the nest

well, two weeks i fell off the face of the earth, but i'm back and i'm learning. sometimes i struggle because i feel like my thoughts are trivial and how in the world could i turn them into something that makes a difference for others... lately my blog has been getting a lot of hits and it makes me more conscious of the things that i'm putting out. if people are actually reading, i want to be speaking something worthwhile.

that said, bird's nests have always been of a major fascination to me. my mom loves them and has lots of artificial and real nests that she keeps around the house as precious decorations. but lately, a lesson from God has laid within the sweet little constructs.

a bird's nest is a very special little natural construct not just a bundle of sticks and reeds turned into a little home that serves a very special purpose. what is it that is so special about bird's nests?

1. you can't fake a nest.

when i was a young girl i really wanted there to be baby animals in my family (and there was no way that we were going to be puppies or kittens in our house), so i came up with a plan. my little brother (3 years younger than me) and i decided that we were going to build an artificial nest in the front yard of our home. we took our time perfecting the shape of the nest and gather together the perfect materials that even a bird would pick. no eggs and no birds found our little nest that sit so perfectly in the lawn for them.

just in this same way, you can't fake the plans or dreams, the place in life that God has for you. as much as it might not be exactly what you want or the plans you had made for yourself, God has them and His timing is ultimate.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

just remember the little nest, remember that its built by the mama bird for a very special reason and if it's not made by her, it's not a place for her kids to be born.

2. nests are made with tender love and care.

a mother bird spends just as much time creating and forming the nest for her little birdies than she spends in the nest atop the eggs waiting to meet her sweet babies. and once they are born, it's a very short period of time that they stay in the sweet structure she made. we, as humans, have become obsessed with being as time efficient as possible rather than putting their heart into an effort that doesn't lead to a great reward, whether its self glory or material goods.

"Then he said to them, "Watch out!" Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." -Luke 12:15

we must remember to be mindful of what it is our efforts are truly doing for us rather than seeking a personal gain in all that we do.

3. creating a nest and hatching baby birds in it requires much patience.

sitting still and trusting there to be a wonderful end to your wait is a new extreme test of faith. i truly struggle being peaceful and waiting. i want things to happen and i want them to happen now. a mama bird, just sits and provides heat for her little unborn babies. she doesn't sit with others, she sits alone waiting for her babies to break from their little shells.

as God says in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God". we must be still and wait for the little eggs God has sitting in our nest to hatch and fill our lives with His grand, unimaginable plan for us.

song of the day: Be Still My Soul

Kari Jobe

timmy timmy time

with graduation impending... well, in the next 9ish months, i have started to panic about what it is i am going to do with the rest of my life. in fact, i'm obsessed with thinking, planning, and worrying about what is to come with the end of my college looming in the near distance. i am not such why this is something i cannot seem to place in His hands since He has proved to have perfect timing in perfect plans for me, but i'm busy keeping it in my little palm.

my life, or at least one of the greatest parts of my testimony, speaks to the wonderful timing that God has for His believers. jeremiah chase, my precious littlest brother, is a blessing from God that came just when we needed him. and boy, oh boy, did we need him! but this story is just too glorifying to not be told!

in sixth grade i decided i really wanted a younger sister. oh man, did i want one. i prayed and prayed that God do what is best for our family but please, oh please, give me that little sister. a leader from church pointed me to jeremiah 29:11 and said, "amber, this is my favorite verse and i feel like it'll bless you as you pray for your younger sibling."

when getting back home i quickly looked up the verse and to my surprise it said:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

well, He did have a plan. about six months later my parents sat my brother, scooter, and i down and let us know that we were going to begin the process of adoption. one year later, we were finally approved to have a child placed in our home. about three weeks later, we got the call. after a family vote we were on our way to the adoption agency to pick up sweet baby hallie. her and her mother had tested positive for cocaine at the time of her birth and she needed a safe place to stay. we just loved her and i was ecstatic that my little sister was here. God was perfect and He granted my prayer for a little sister. amen.

for three days we doted on her until it was time to have a visitation with her mom. a visitation that became a permanent stay from which she never returned. i was beside myself with devastation. i was livid with Him for taking away the little sister He should know that i deserve. my family really struggled to bounce back from the loss of Hallie. a family friend from church came over one afternoon and shared a bible verse with the family that she was sure would help was during our test of faith.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

with a change of our agency and about eight months we were back on track. a month and a half later, another call came and the amazing baby jeremiah was placed in our home. from the moment that we met jeremiah in the lobby of the agency building to his sweet little self wiggling at my feet on the sofa this very second (i'm visiting home for the three day weekend!), he has been a light, a hope, a blessing.

a year and two months later we stood in front of a judge in the los angeles family courthouse, jeremiah became a minegar. what a lucky family we are! so my sister, though i wanted her so badly, didn't happen. but my amazing little brother did. amen. He is good and faithful in everything that He does. hallelujah.

the bible speaks of His amazing timing. it speaks of the great things He has planned for you, for me, and for all.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -Ecclesiastes 3:11

that's right, He has set out eternity. our lives are already laid out ahead of us, we just must remember to long after glorifying Him. thank goodness He has it all figured out because i sure don't.

song of the day:

in God's time by:barry scott and second wind

perfectly imperfect

i’m back again! wahoooo! i have been doing so well, but it really honestly has nothing to do with myself and so much to do with God teaching me amazing lessons about His role in my life. for the first time ever in my dozen years of church going experience God pushed me last night. it was the weirdest experience, but the most effective God has ever been at speaking (ok, it was more like YELLING) into my heart.

i have struggled for as long as i can remember with perfectionism. this was something that was so loved by teachers and group mates in high school because i would put all i could into my work just to ensure it was perfect. but it wasn’t just at school. then i moved to college and i was tested beyond my wildest imagination and i realized that i couldn’t be perfect in school anymore, but i could be perfect outside school, so i became a neat freak and cleaned, organized, and labeled like it was going out of style (which it still hasn’t!). then i needed to move off campus and into an apartment and i found myself relocating my “home away from home” 3 times in four short months. i realized that being perfectly organized was a very difficult task with so much movement, so i transferred it to relationships. i longed to be the perfect daughter, friend, sister, girlfriend, classmate, employee, teammate, and the list goes on.

well, lately i have taken on almost all of those longings for perfection at once. but i have also retroactively applied this desire to a point where every action, word, thought, motive i can remember comes under scrutiny. if you hadn’t got the memo let me share, i’m not perfect. yep, i know, hard to believe. it’s tough for me too.

but that’s not it. of course, that’s not it. so yesterday i was driving to meet a partner for a project together and realized that i was putting too much pressure on myself to be mistake free, or perfect. i had a moment of realization that God is perfect and in His perfection i am allowed to be imperfect. not only am i allowed, i am imperfect.

so last night jason and i head into another service at our beloved church and i am ready to enjoy a night of worship and encouragement. but God had another plan for me. He spoke through paster matt and He screamed into my heart. He let me know that i am imperfect, broken, flawed, but He is perfect, proficient, restorative. my list of wrongs that i spent years beating myself up over was only bothering me. yep, you read that right, i, the wrongdoer, was the only one stewing, hurting, hating my wrong. the God who has every reason to condemn me for my lies, deceit, jealousy, gossip, hate, anger won’t. why?

because our sin, our mistakes, our shortcomings are really between us and Christ. like John describes in John 8, when the adulterous woman is brought before Jesus to be stoned,

"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." – John 8:7

Christ is the only one without sin. He is also the only one with the ability to forgive what would easily be condemned by pain, by torture, by death. so, i need to forgive myself simply because Christ forgave me and He is the only one that can hold me accountable for my lengthy list of transgressions. what do you need to forgive yourself for? do you realize that Christ has forgiven you and wants for you to do the same for yourself?

not only did God show me that i needed to let all of these wrongs go. He showed me that by keeping a list, by keeping a record of wrongs, i am limiting my own ability to love myself. just like God says in 1 corinthians 13:4-8:

love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

no i don’t struggle with my weight or my athletic abilities (or inabilities) or my intelligence. i struggle loving my imperfections, my flaws, my mistakes. i have a great disdain for doing things the wrong way. well, news flash to me, i am imperfect. inherent in imperfection is doing things the wrong way, slipping up, getting a scuff when i fall down. but those imperfections need to make me who i am, not make me hate who i am. it’s time to let go and love.

song of the day:

everything glorious

by: the david crowder band

“you make everything glorious

and I am yours,

what does that make me?”

they capture every little lesson i’m trying to put out there in this song. and it sounds so much prettier than my big blob of text! J God bless everyone. i’m praying for you all. keep it up, He’s teaching us all something so cool.

and, lastly, email me about you if you’re reading. teach me what He’s teaching you.

synchronicitie@gmail.com

forgive them for they know not what they do

lately, i have been struggling with persecution. but not in the random mean people making rude comments sort of way. nope, it's someone that is supposed to be my "friend" that is testing my ability to withstand persecution.

for some reason my many years growing up in the church had always given me the impression that persecution had to come from outside your circle of friends. i somehow took the church bubble and included all of my friends, christian and not, as a part of the nice group. however, this friend of my just tests my ability to remain strong as a person of character. but i guess more details will allow for a greater lesson.

i have been assigned to a group project by one of my professors with four close friends. a precious girl from one of my classes was assigned to work with us and she decided to email me because she felt out of the loop. well, we just hit it off and ended up being in multiple classes together. i just really enjoy her and the fact that we have many things in common in such a short period of getting to know each other. none of my friends on the other hand have taken any interest in being cordial to her, much less befriending her. well, i am glad to have her as all mine since no one else has made an effort, and i'm really excited to say she is worshipping the same God that i am at the same congregation i attend!

in all of my excitement i shared the great news about my new friend to a couple of the other girls in the group. the same girls that took no initiative in reaching out to her. one in particular took it upon herself to let me know i'm weird and creepy in taking such an interest in a random girl in my classes. she has taken it upon herself to make sure i know how negatively she feels about my choices and actions at every opportunity and has even brought other friends into the mix by encouraging them to take on her rude ways. from verbal statements to facebook posts, it all is rude and hurtful.

while every part of me wants to shake her and say wake up you aren't that much cooler than me! i realize that there is no point in doing so. she believes that she is too cool to make an effort. she believes that anyone worth being friends with will pursue her. well, she is missing out. i am working on being proud of my friendliness and outgoing ways, while continuously being humbled by her rude words. jesus had some of the same issues during his time on earth.

we all know the stories of peter and judas. the ultimate traitors. they were in the jesus camp. they knew what he was up to, they knew he was the son of an almighty God, yet they betrayed him in the ultimate of ways. but more than just judas and peter, jesus was/is betrayed by us, the ones He came to save. he made the greatest of sacrifices, yet we daily persecute Him through our intentions, interactions, and all else.

but thankfully, jesus, while hanging upon the cross, begged for our pardon in saying,

"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." -Luke 23:34

jesus was not just speaking about the group gathered around him at the time of his crucifixion. he is speaking to God the Father about us too. knowing that for centuries after his sacrifice man would continue to sin against Christ day in and day out. thankfully, he is not looking to give us what we deserve, but instead he desires to bring us into the heavenly kingdom with him and His Father.

so, in persecution, whether from inside your bubble of friends or not, be faithful to Him. or in the words of the greatest cliche, do what Jesus would do. think about it like jesus is asking you, "________ (insert name here), to forgive them for they know not what they do". wow, with a decree from Christ himself it is so much easier to keep a kind heart. just smile, it's hard to say mean things with a smile on your face. and remember He is watching from above and is proud of your obedience.

song of the day:

after your heart

by: phil wickham

learn the words and sing along. it makes you want to be more like Him. this is a desire that is so important to breed and song always makes it easier... :) and like Phil says, "lift your soul and sing with the choir... Hallelujah"

i'm headed home.

i'm going home tomorrow for the weekend! wahooo! this afternoon i was running and thinking about my blog and what to write next. and boom, home just made so much sense. why? well, let's get to it!

when i have been away from home for a significant amount of time (which is only three weeks) i get so antsy to head back to the sweet abode of my youth and my amazing family. then i got to thinking, is this what happens when we die? do we begin to think of the wonderful place that we are going to get to return to and our hearts fill with excitement? i sure hope so!

"My heart and my flesh may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26

throughout the bible it is discussed that we will all die. that the heart and flesh will not serve our purposes forever and will grow faint and fail. the body serves as a temporary housing for the spirit that God created which makes us who we are. but without the confines of a body our spirits will have the chance to be free and fly with no physical constraints to drag us down.

so, how should we feel about death? i think He intends for us to be excited just like i am. i truly believe that God arranges a room for us in preparation for having us home. our job in this process, rejoice and be glad, you don't even know how great it's going to be!

"Rejoice and be glad for great is your reward in heaven, for so persecuted were the prophets which came before you." - Matthew 5:12

just imagine what this homecoming would be like. the angels will sing, family and friends to have come before you will gather with joy, and in the middle of it all that King of Kings will be there to give you a warm welcome home! gosh, death seems like a reward and no longer a loss. i believe this is how God meant for death and the ascension to heaven to be regarded.

why a blog like this? well, on days that are hard, when the world seems too much and everything is going all wrong, or after losing someone very precious to you, remember He is there with the greatest of plans and parties to welcome us home. there is a greater reward that waits for us outside of the world that is grander than anything that we could ever imagine.

song of the day:

i can only imagine - mercyme

i identify with the way they talk about entering into the pearly white gates of heaven. i wonder what i will do. when i go home now to see my family i honk and hoot and holler out the window hoping everyone is just waiting to see my little car out front. how will i react knowing God is waiting for me? oh my. i feel overwhelmed now and i'm only 21. i have lots of life ahead of me. but He is excited. and so am i.

the refiner's fire

two posts in a row. i guess i feel responsible for making up for the lack of posting i did last week. and there is just a sort of urgency in my heart for this one. and today God wouldn't let me get over the urge. so i write.

about a year ago my family started on the most difficult journey it would face. never did we expect to be tried and tested in the ways that we were. but today we stand with more strength, more faith, and more love than ever before. however, it isn't an easy road to walk.

in january of last year my mom noticed that my dad's ability to remember things was deteriorating slowly. she expressed concern to my siblings and i, but we told her it was nothing... he's never been one for details. however, come march, things were still not right. he sought the help of a neurologist and went through weeks of testing, MRIs, doctor appointments while we waited for an answer. one by one things were ruled out. tumor, no. alzheimer's, no. dementia, not that either. one monday night my parents received a phone call from one of the doctors explaining that he knew what it was and to come in the following morning. he said things didn't look great. after a night of no sleep and lots of tears, i went to work, just like i had for weeks.

on july 17th, 2009, a neurologist diagnosed my 56 year old father with early onset alzheimer's. he said despite the lack of genetic evidence he was sure my father was losing his memory for good. he also warned that because my dad is so young the disease would be more aggressive in its degeneration and we must begin making arrangements.

there are no words to describe the pain, the fear, the panic that sets in with a diagnosis like this. i immediately drove home to spend time with my family. my brothers played in the pool with my dad like always. my mom spent hours on the phone letting all of the relatives know the results had come back and we faced a battle with one of the most mysterious diseases known to modern medicine.

why God? i just had to ask. i spent months asking. God, why? why us? why my dad? why my family? why do this to my mom? why to jeremiah, he is so young? why now? why not later in his life? why, God, why?

while i still wish this all away. while i wish it wasn't us. while i wish it was later in my dad's life. while i wish it wasn't my dad, my mom, my family. i understand that we are being tested by fire just like God talks about in 1 Corinthians 3:

"This work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." -1 Corinthians 3:13-15

we don't know what's going to come of all this. we don't know if his brain will be perfect. we don't know if he will remember us five years from now. but we do know that God is doing His work among us. and i know that i don't want to just barely escape through the flames. i want to be thrown into the fire only to burn brighter than the flames. i want to be blinding, like the blue flames that compose the hottest part of the blaze.

i want to know that God placed me in the hottest of heats, in the toughest of times, and i made it with His strength there to keep me cool. thankfully, my family, the people that mean the world to me, get to join me in this journey.

my dad is doing better. he has improved tremendously with the help of an amazing psychiatrist and with the family rallied closely around him. however, the flames, though smoldering, still burn, reminding us that we are not yet free. that His refiner's fire is continuing to work on us making us more like Him.

it's not easy. it's not fun. but the bible never promised easy or fun. it promised to glorify Him.

"God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed." - Job 1:21

death alley, just as dangerous as the valley

i must begin with an apology for being an absent minded student, friend, writer, blogger, sister, child, follower. (fill in whatever works best for you in defining our relationship) sometimes i could swear that the fast forward button is being pushed and life is just scrambling by not making much sense just like movies do! and blogging affords me the chance to organize everything, but then i get too caught up in the chaos to slow down and reflect and write. i must get better. period.

well, i ran another half marathon yesterday. nothing special in that i’ve done it so many times now i can’t count them all on one hand, but there was something very different (special is NOT the right word) about yesterday. i wasn’t feeling well at the start and in fact emptied the contents of my stomach out of my mouth publically… that was an experience in itself. but that was not even the beginning of it.

come mile 12, the last little leg of a 13.1 mile race, i felt tired but hopeful to get to the end when that all came crashing down. at the end of the water stop a man lay lifeless on the ground while a group of volunteers vigorously pump his chest to maintain circulation. next thing i know a man comes running from a nearby tennis club with an aed and they prepare to jumpstart his heart. oh boy, i have never been this close to death. as i turn the corner i pray to God to help him (whoever he is) since i know that i have nothing to offer.

like an immediate answer to prayer there is an ambulance parked just around the bend. i am jogging up the hill (a run was too much to ask at this point!) to let the paramedics know there was a man in need being revived down the hill, when i realize the helpers are already helping another man’s heart with cpr. even more so than before, i have never been this close to death.

at this point it seems appropriate to stop jogging and gather myself (being the hot mess i already am, more puke or some tears seems hardly reasonable). as i am walking up the rest of the street i remember my mom telling me she would meet me at the top of the final downhill. we would finish together like we always do. so time to run again, i come over the crest of the hill and she’s not there. i run through the crowded finish and still no mom. a fire truck flies by lights and sirens blaring. no mom. i cross the line, no smile, no mom.

at this point, i am in a full panic. i just hung out with the grim reaper for a mile and now my mom, my BEST friend ever, is missing. bordering on hysteria, i hear my name and turn to find my mom in her orange top that is identical to mine. wow, a whole new hysteria ensues. thank God she is here. literally i am thanking Him.

but i never leave it this simple do i? nope. last night as i lay in bed i could not help but reflect on the ups and downs (geographically and emotionally) i had experienced in just a single day. i was glad that death was just something i got to run by, not something i had to fight like the emts, or watch like the volunteers, or deal with like the fallen runners. but the ultimate face down with death happened with Jesus on the cross. He didn’t run by it, or fight it, or deal with it. no he conquered it. Jesus put the grim reaper out of business.

in matthew 27:46, as Jesus is hanging on the cross he is looking death in the eye and feeling the energy and life drain from his body, he cries out:

"“Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"”

now, my mom being missing does not mean she had forsaken me (she was stuck in the runner’s trough because of the security guards), but i felt for a moment the fear, the sadness, the worry of losing a relationship with a parent. it is by no means near the brokenness Christ felt inside, however, it did bring my heart right back to Him. in that same vein, God never forsake Christ, He just had to serve as a guard for the rest of mankind. He was obligated, just like my mom. remember this in times of feeling forsaken by Him. He has a greater plan, He has beaten death, and He will do what is best, not just for you, but for all.

song of the day:
you’re not alone
by: meredith andrews

“you’re not alone for i am here
let me wipe away your every fear
my love, i’ve never left your side
i have seen you through the darkest night”

He means it. for both you and me in synchronicitie.